November 26, 2012

The Process (and Deadlines)

Ah, so this is titled "The Process", but titles are suppose to illuminate or give a hint on what's to be discussed.  Why mystify, why not clarify? Well, firstly, life is quite mysterious so I'll stay true to that.  And my life is quite a mystery at the moment, as well as (to be honest) a tad confusing.  Often times in that moment of confusion and angst we seek an epiphany, something to shatter our tumutuous times and upheaved mind.  We wait for the realization of "how to move forward" or "what to do with my life now" like the sharp peel of a bell; hoping it will break the fetid mire that swirls around our ankles, that mucks higher until (sometimes) it feels as if we are drowning. AH! Quite the inspiring paragraph, no?  Well, here's the truth of it: it's a process. Sometimes the epiphany is delayed, or sometimes (in my case), the epiphany is that there may not be that silver chiming bell.  Not unless you create it.  In my version again, this bell/epiphany does not sound golden and clear as it usually does.  It does not have that one single chime, that "Aha!", that beats back the mist of uncertainty.  Instead, it is a resonating hum that starts in my chest and vibrates through one limb at a time, filling me with a slow, relentless drive. I still war if it is in my heart and minds best choice.  Did the hum begin with cold, calculating logic?  Or is it my gut that i know what i must do now?  And, finally, is it right? Yet it matters not.  It is a step forward, and any step forward is a good one.  And most importantly, the fact that this long stride is not one of 'the fates perfectly aligning', but of MY own stubborn, bullheaded, dogged will-power telling me I must and will succeed? Well, that seems good and true enough for me. So, again, "The Process." Enough philosophizing! Here's what it means: I will be self-publishing the book.  With that in mind, my trusted team of editors including me are currently editing the book (version 761.14159?). We will also have an audio and printed release of the two (possibly three) short stories "Dreams of a Reaver" and "Legends".  The idea is this: the traditional route is fine for many, but I believe full-heartedly that I have honestly experienced too much self-doubt without even having my work truly out there.  If it gets out there and then the world is not so inclined towards it as i believe they will be?  So be it (haha, ya right!)  But if we take anything from this rant it's this: never feel defeated, especially not before you've yet to truly begin. That said? Deadline for publication: March 14, 2013.  Deadline for audio (iTunes) version: TBD. So instead of bashing my head against queries endlessly, I am now writing and enjoying it.  I would recommend for all to follow your own path regardless of influences and with iron-will.  Life is a process, a beautiful, confusing, and sometimes (often) frustrating one, but if you press forward with this mindset, you will succeed.  The mountains may not become molehills, and each step may not always find sure footing, but it will be another step.  And that is how mountains, or dreams, or anything for that matter, is accomplished.  One step at a time.  For no one has ever failed to climb a mountain whose feet have not stopped. With dogged will, your neighborly writer, Matt Back To Ronin Saga Blog